Today I watched a man talk to a dog. “Ohcomehereboyarentyouagoodboyohyouresocuteiloveyou,” he purred, jovially leaning on one knee as he rubbed the dog’s face. I don’t know how people can be so natural and comfortable in the company of animals. I’m as stilted and awkward around dogs, and animals in general, as I am human beings. I had… Continue reading Animals


Before I moved to Canada, barely a day would go by without receiving a breathless text from my brother, desperate to inform me of the latest third rate footballer he had randomly encountered in some dingy Tyneside club the night before. The exhilarated tone of these texts moved me, clearly my brother was indescribably happy to have brushed so close… Continue reading Celebrities


Did you have a good New Year’s? I didn’t. But then I never really do. I think my main problem with New Year’s is that I just don’t enjoy parties very much. Parties combine my two least favourite aspects of existence; being in public and interacting with human beings, into one utterly exhausting whole. I’d… Continue reading Parties